She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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