in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
