so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
