Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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