the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize