ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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