I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
