i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
