every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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