I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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