Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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