Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
