New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
