Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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