Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
