This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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