I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
