i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
