Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He better not be in your backpack
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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