apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
