Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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