You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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