My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We have started to decorate penises.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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