..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
