They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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