she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
