just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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