no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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