I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
