first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize