I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
