Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
