I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How's work?
Spinning.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
