If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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