I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
