But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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