yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
