The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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