loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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