I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
