She announced her abortion via fbk
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
