I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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