Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I checked into jail on foursquare
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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