There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
