I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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