I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
