Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize