Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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