just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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