About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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