Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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