I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
