I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize