woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
