I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
