she was so not down for the gang bang
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
