Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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