so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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