Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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