Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
