Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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